Whether you are currently dating or not, this is one skill you will need at some point in your life. This goes beyond knowing how to wow a potential lover or a potential client, this is an essential social skill it seems. You do need to sell yourself at one point or another to someone. I am a Social and Dating Coach, over and above teaching you the dating Do’s and Dont’s of a relationship, I teach people how to navigate any social dynamics or environments. It’s amazing how we think we don’t need these skills until you are caught at a work function where you need to strike a conversation with a CEO or a potential client and you don’t know what to say. Better yet, you are sitting next to a pretty lady and you can’t even bring yourself to say a word. This can really get uncomfortable and awkward, right?
Working a room and striking up conversation
How is it that someone else can do this with ease and you can’t? We all know at least one person that is able to work any room, easily strike a conversation with anyone and leave an unforgettable impression. No, it has nothing to do with their looks or dress code but it’s got everything to do with how you make those you talk with feel about themselves! People want to feel important but also understood. A person who has learned these two essential skills can win any person over.
I have three magic sequenced questions that have helped me leave quite an impression with anyone I interact with.
Step 1 – Be brave, smile, relax, ask
Everyone is nervous about talking to someone new, so be brave, give a smile, relax your body and ask a stranger about their current location. The reason you ask about the location/observation is that it forces them to be present, ask what they think of this place? or if they have been here before? As they are telling you this, pay attention to the words used with emphasis… someone might say, “I don’t like these kinds of places, I’m an outdoor kind of a person” – for example. From this response alone, you can tell, (1)They are not comfortable as well, (2)They have a passion that goes hand in hand with outdoors and (3) Your follow up question should be to establish that passion. Get it?
Step 2 – Focus on their passion
Ask about their passion/ How they spend most of their time. Notice that I didn’t say ask about their career? It’s rude to ask a person what they do the first time you meet them, ask this once you have established some sort of a base or relationship. But the good news is that you can guess what they do just from their answer. The answer might be something like this “ I spend most of my time entertaining clients on a golf course and getting fit while hiking” From this, you can establish they deal with sales of some sort, people who play golf are usually associated with being in a certain calibre so it could be high profiled individual with great investment potentials. Staying fit and healthy is important to this person. This has given you a clear direction of stories to talk about and questions to ask next, to bond with this person.The longer they talk here, the better you look.
Step 3 – Past experiences
Ask them about their past experiences… take them back, make them re-live an experience with you. You could ask, “I’m so terrible at golf, tell me about the first time you played, what was your experience like“? by now you have just worn them over.
Show genuine interest
You will appear interested, interesting and socially acceptable. Why? Because we remember people who are interested in us and people who remember details about us. People who let us talk and listen with great enthusiasm, make us feel valued and understood.
Notice how you could get an entire story from just 3 questions? and the nice part is …you didn’t do all the talking, in fact, you barely spoke. All you did was plug up the courage to initiate a conversation with a stranger.
So, you still don’t think Dating &Social skills are not important?
