Yes, new relationships can be so fun, exciting and make traffic bearable but with that said there is a lot of red tapes and unspoken rules because we are still trying to figure out a lot about each other. Here are the top 5 questions I get asked the most as a dating coach about dates:
Where to go for a date?
Let’s face it … going out to restaurants or movies to put a spike in your relationship or get to know someone can get boring. Feels like you’re stuck in a routine and you really don’t get to know this person like you will, doing other things. So here are by top 3 fun dates suggestions
- Go to all the places you liked when you were and kid and share memories. this will let you tap into your partners child side
- Night time picnic backyard/parks this could end up getting very interesting
- Play Board Games at a Coffee Shop: Great for competitive lovers. I’m sure you get the point to try something new.
How to make an Impression
…So first impressions are crucial for both males and females. Here are my tips that are not so obvious on how to leave an impression
- Don’t ask for a date over text, call and ask her out. It looks like you’re more interested.
- Save home dates like cooking and “chilling” for a 3rd date or so… inviting someone over for a first dates only It will only make your intentions doubted.
- The longer they talk, the better you look. Allow them to talk about themselves, be present and ask follow up questions from what they are sharing
What do you wear?
Make an effort to look and smell good. People will base 55% of their initial impression of you on your appearance and body language, 38% on your style of speaking, and 7% on what you actually say. You do the maths… wear the right clothes for the date, don’t be trying to impress with heels when the occasion and environment doesn’t ask for it. Don’t be too casual when the date requires you to be formal. If you are not sure ask your date what to wear. It shows you want to make an effort. But PLEASE don’t apply too much make up, it makes you look like you made an extra effort and that you’re not used to being taken out on dates.
What to say?
People like other people who are warm, confident, trustworthy, credible, kind, and attractive, and who make them feel comfortable, interesting, and valued. Also, happy people attract more dates..One of the biggest turn-offs during a date is negativity. The content of your conversation must be genuine. It’s not an interview but a chance to know the person and for you to also figure if you have the same ideas about relationships. Do give genuine compliments and acknowledge their effort So adult talk and stop having high school conversations that will only leave you confused and exhausted at the end of the date.
Examples NO conversations…What car do you drive? Where do you work? What do you do? Sex history or experience, talking about your ex
Examples of YES conversation… What do you think you learned from your parents? What’s your thought on marriage? What do you want to change about yourself? What is your biggest dream in life?
When & how to follow up after a date
At a certain age, one cannot spend time stressing and worrying if somebody like you or not, I think what’s important after a date is deciding if you liked them or not. Whatever the answer be honest to yourself and the other person. If you enjoyed the date and want to see them again say so, if you are not ready to make a decision say so and if you didn’t enjoy the date and also don’t see yourself with them, kindly say so as well. Real adults don’t waste people’s times and feelings. The healthiest start to any relationship is being honest and open.
It’s a simple as a text saying “ hey, had a great time today…looking forward to the next time” or
“ hey , thanks for taking time out today, it was great meeting you but I don’t think I want to explore us further, there was just no attraction for me. All the best with the love search”
Avoiding being the one to talk first or trying to be coy by waiting will only make you look childish. Own your story.
When can you have sex?
Reality is you can just as easily regret sleeping with someone after 90 days as you can after 1. Waiting to have sex until you’re ready is the smart thing to do, whether that’s 90 minutes or 90 years, that fine but I don’t believe there should be any hard and fast rule about it. The idea is to know this person. The more you know the more you’ll be ready for sex. With that said though do not sleep with anyone unless you’re emotionally ready to deal with the possible rejection or any outcome that may come as a result of having sex. Do it when you know you can handle WHATEVER outcomes. “No expectations” mentality.